


Healing

by LuxLouise



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, F/M, Healing, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25383970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxLouise/pseuds/LuxLouise
Summary: Returning for his final year a changed man, Draco Malfoy finds that everyone suffered and no one is alright  Becoming close with Hermione Granger is healing in a way he didn’t know he needed.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 48
Kudos: 125
Collections: 2020 Sounds Like Dramione





	Healing

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [2020SoundsLikeDramione](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2020SoundsLikeDramione) collection. 



> Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me but are the property of J.K.R. and Warner Bros. No copyright infringement is intended. Thank you to my alpha and/or beta for their time and help.  
> The prompt for my story was 
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> "You were my gravity.  
> When you went away, thought I'd never be the same."
> 
> Gravity - Against The Current

Standing on the stone patio that overlooked the flowing gardens of Malfoy Manor, Draco Malfoy sighed. The gardens had always been his escape for as long as he could remember. As a young boy running away from his governess, a teenager running away from the stuffy parties his parents threw regularly, and then as a young man, hiding away from the monster who had branded his father willingly, subjugated his mother’s freewill, and branded him unwillingly.

When the Dark Lord returned and took up residency in Malfoy Manor, Dracos entire home became tainted. All the happy memories he had were washed away in an instant. He could never set foot in the formal salon again. The first time he tried to go in the room after the war ended, Draco had a panic attack. Flashes of being magically held down by his father, cursed by his unhinged aunt, sliced with a knife by his best mate’s father, and countless other horrors flashed through his mind. His mother had found him curled into a ball and shaking, his grey eyes staring at nothing. That resulted in his first trip to St Mungo’s psychiatric ward.

After his family’s trial with the Wizengamot where Draco and Narcissa were sentenced to house arrest, wand monitoring, paying reparations—and in Draco’s case, returning to Hogwarts to complete his education in September—he had another break down. The thought of returning to the place that had turned to ash once Voldemort returned sent Draco spiraling once again. His nanny elf found him in his bathroom, in a pool of his own blood and took him to St Mungo’s immediately before returning for Narcissa.

For three weeks, Draco Malfoy, the once proud pureblood scion for the House of Malfoy, was magically restrained and subdued. He attended one-on-one therapy sessions twice a day for the first two weeks until he was deemed stable enough to be allowed to interact with other patients of the ward for group therapy sessions. When he was finally released and allowed to go home, he arrived to find a different manor than the one he’d left.

His mother told him that she couldn't stand to see her only son afraid of his home. The entire manor had been remodeled so much that Draco didn't recognise any part of the house. The room he had been marked in was completely gone, a new dining room taking its place. The kitchen had been re-done to the specifications of the Malfoy elves who had all been freed but chose to stay with their family. A small breakfast nook had been added and was where Draco and Narcissa ate all of their meals together.

Growing up, Draco had never seen his mother looking anything other than completely put together and perfect. The first time he went downstairs to breakfast and found his mother in a dressing gown —embroidered silk, but still a dressing gown—Draco had nearly fallen over in shock. She wore no makeup, and her blonde hair flowed freely past her shoulders. His mother looked the most relaxed he had ever seen her. Narcissa had confided in him that Lucius had never wanted her to look anything other than perfect at all hours of the day. With him being sentenced to life in Azkaban, Narcissa had felt free for the first time since she was seventeen years old.

Feeling free was what brought Draco out onto the patio at three in the morning. The strong smell of flowers surrounding him. Daffodils, hyacinth, and begonias were the most prominent. Repentance, regret, and guilt. Draco had been brought up knowing the meanings of all flowers, so it wasn’t hard to miss the reasons his mother had planted the flowers she did. Her way of dealing with the sins of his father he supposed. 

Draco was returning to Hogwarts that afternoon and he was terrified of the freedom he was being given.He had spent the summer either in hospital or at home with his well-meaning mother and over-bearing house-elves following his every move. There would be no one to hold him accountable, no one to check in on him and his well-being. He also wasn't sure how he would be received by the majority of the population at Hogwarts. He knew Theo and Blaise would be returning, Pansy as well. The rest of the student body, however, might not be so welcoming towards him.

During his last stay at St Mungo’s, his mind healer, a man in his mid thirties, insisted Draco repent for his actions from before and during the war. He asked Draco to write letters to all the people he had wronged in his life, and the list wasn't short. Sending the letters, knowing that he would either get no responses or Howlers, had been nerve wracking but had made him feel slightly better. When he received a letter back from Potter, you could have knocked Draco over with a feather.

The saviour of the wizarding world had been gracious, telling Draco he held no ill-will towards him, the he understood Draco had been a child in the midst of war just as he had, and that the adults surrounding them both should have been the ones to handle everything instead of allowing teenagers to clean up the messes that were their own making. Potter had been to the Manor once after he received the reply, bringing his Aunt Andromeda and his little cousin Teddy to visit with his mother. It had been awkward at first, mainly due to the fact that they were both terribly uncomfortable by the crying witches who held each other for twenty minutes before disappearing into his mother’s room, leaving them to care for the tiny Metamorphmagus together. By the end of the visit, Draco had a new found respect for Potter—even though he refused to call him Harry.

Draco also received a reply from Weasel King. While the response wasn't as understanding as Potter’s had been, the redhead, whom Draco had tormented just as badly as Potter, had accepted his apology and told him that he would work on his anger towards him. Draco figured that was as good as he would get. The Weasley parents had also answered the heartfelt apology he had sent them, stating that they didn't hold his father’s actions against him and that he and his mother were welcome to come to the Burrow with Andromeda any Sunday for roast. They had yet to brave the Weasley family for dinner, but only because Draco wasn't ready to be surrounded by so many people he had been so cruel to for so many years.

The birds beginning to chirp pulled Draco from his musings. With a sigh, he started back inside to shower and prepare for his journey back to Hogwarts. The long walk back to his wing of the Manor gave him more time to think about what this day would bring. Seeing so many people, a lot of whom probably didn't want him anywhere near them, would surely lead to issues early on in the school year. Headmistress McGonagall had sent him a letter in early August telling him that bullying would not be tolerated and also to inform him that all the returning 'eight' years would be sharing living quarters.

He knew that Potter and Weasley had chosen not to return, deciding to join the Ministry and start their Auror training. Potter had informed him however, that Granger  _ would _ be returning. It wasn’t really a surprise, knowing how seriously she took her education, but she was the one person he was both dreading to see and also desperately wanting to set eyes on. He hadn't sent her a letter of apology as it didn't seem appropriate. The pain he had caused her since they were eleven warranted more than a written apology— _ she _ deserved more than that.

When Draco finally walked through the door of his room, he found his trunk already packed, his owl’s cage sitting on top empty—Aster probably still out hunting. Sitting down on his bed, Draco ran his hands through his unkempt hair. He kept it short, hoping to keep the comparisons to his father at a minimum. He never wanted to be compared to the monster that had raised him. Laying back on his bed, one arm thrown over his face, Draco began breathing deeply to try to stop the panic attack he could feel working its way to full force. This would be a difficult day and there was no way around that.

The breathing exercises worked and he was able to shower quickly before dressing in his black slacks and a deep blue button down shirt, forgoing a tie. He may not be the same person he was, but a Malfoy always dressed to impress. A house-elf popped into the room just as Draco was slipping his wand in the holster attached to his forearm.

"Mistress be waiting on young Master in the nook, sir," he told Draco before snapping his fingers to make the bed that had been tossed and turned in for part of the night.

With a sigh, Draco thanked the elf before starting the long walk to the kitchens. An Auror would be escorting him to the platform due to his own punishments, while his mother was unable to go with him as a result of her house arrest Hoping it wasn't someone who had a grudge against his family, he grimaced at the thought of Dawlish being the one to escort him. The man had held the entire Malfoy family in contempt for longer than Draco had been alive. He had asked his father once why the man hated them so much and Lucius said that Dawlish fancied himself in love with Narcissa during their Hogwarts days and hated that she married Lucius.

Grimacing, Draco walked into the breakfast nook to find his mother reading the Daily Prophet and sipping her tea. Placing a kiss to her upturned cheek and murmuring a greeting, he took his seat across from her before making his own cup of tea.

"Sleep well, Darling?" Narcissa asked him without looking up from the newspaper.

Draco took a large sip of tea before answering. "Not particularly. I spent most of the night on the patio."

Narcissa made a tsking noise before setting the paper down and levelling Draco with a stern look he knew would be accompanied by a lecture—if her raised eyebrow was any indication.

"Draco, you've been doing so well these last few weeks. I would hate to see your progress go out the window. You've made all the amends you can. You've made reparations to not only Hogwarts but to St Mungo’s as well. You'll have friends at school and it will be a normal year. You can be the teenager you were never able to be when your father was here watching your every move." She said the last bit quietly, knowing that Draco had been watched during his entire time at Hogwarts.

Draco drained his tea cup, sitting it back down and grabbing a piece of toast that tasted like ash on his tongue. "I know. I'm just not sure I'm ready to be around people who hate me. Maybe it’s my penance."

Narcissa sighed. "Your penance for what exactly? Doing what you were  _ forced _ to do?"

"No one made me treat everyone like dirt beneath my shoe. There were very few people who I wasn't a complete git too, Mother. They will likely see my 'fall from grace' as justified and I can't say I blame them. My penance will be others treating me the way I treated them all for the first six years at Hogwarts," Draco said quietly. "I deserve it."

He had to look away from his mother and the tears gathering in her eyes. He didn't like it when witches cried, or anyone for that matter. It made him profoundly uncomfortable. He knew he deserved whatever harsh treatment he received and wouldn't say a word against anyone who felt that they needed to lash out at him. If speaking to the mind healer taught Draco anything it was that everyone dealt with their emotions, their pain, their struggles differently. If someone he had bullied relentlessly needed to use Draco as a punching bag, well the least he could do was let them.

"Please take care of yourself. Don't let anyone hurt you, my dragon. Yes, you were your father’s son while you were at Hogwarts but you're being given a chance to change how people see you. You've apologised and it is  _ not _ your job to help other people work through their problems," Narcissa told him, her breath hitching slightly at the end.

The rest of their breakfast passed quickly and quietly. Dracos trunk was waiting for him in the Floo room. The Auror would be Flooing over close to a quarter till eleven and they would be taking the Floo directly to the platform at King’s Cross. Narcissa pulled him in for a tight hug before kissing him on the cheek and fussing his shirt collar. The moment the Floo roared to life, she stepped away from him, her face slipping into her mask of the perfect pureblooded mother.

Draco didn't think his eyes could roll back any farther in his head when Potter stepped out of the fireplace, waving his wand over his bright red Auror robes to clear the soot.

"Mrs Malfoy, lovely to see you as always," Potter told his mother with a slight bow in her directions.

Narcissa smiled brightly. "Harry, what a surprise, how on earth did you talk them into letting you escort Draco today?" she asked.

Potter laughed and ran his hand through his messy hair. "I was going to King’s Cross anyway to see Hermione off so I volunteered. All right there, Draco?" he asked him, sticking his hand out towards Draco.

Gripping his hand firmly, Draco shook it and thought back to the first time he had offered Potter his hand. What a little dick he had been.

"Potter, nice to see you. I'm ready whenever you are," he said. 

Draco shrunk his trunk, sliding it into his pocket before pulling his mother in for another hug, knowing Potter wouldn't judge them for the show of affection. "I'll write you in the morning Mum, I love you," he told her quietly before grabbing Aster’s cage, the owl having returned from her hunting while he had eaten his breakfast.

The last thing Draco saw before the green flames surrounded him was his mother dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. Stepping out of the Floo just seconds before Potter stumbled his way out, he glanced around the platform. There weren't as many families as there usually were, and everyone seemed to be looking over their shoulders, wands gripped tightly in one hand while the other held onto their children until they had to send them off for another year of school.

Potter cleared his throat. "I see Hermione, do you want to come down there with me or get on the train now?" He jerked his head toward the end of the train where he could see Granger standing by herself, trunk in hand.

Just as Draco looked towards her, Granger turned her head and locked eyes with him. There was no fire there, no hatred, no loathing. Nothing at all. She almost didn't even look like the same girl he had grown up knowing. Like all the fire she had in her had burned out.

"You go on ahead, I'll just grab a compartment. Thanks for the escort, Potter." Another handshake and Draco was boarding the train, trying to look for any of his friends to sit with or anyone who wouldn't outright reject him. Halfway down the train, a compartment door slid open just before he could look into it and Luna Lovegood’s head popped out.

"You can join me if you like, Draco. I have plenty of room," she told him in her airy voice that he was sure would be the same voice as a fairy’s if they could talk.

Draco stood there stunned for a moment, completely gobsmacked that this girl who had been held captive in the dungeons of his home for  _ months _ would want him anywhere near her. He had sent her a long letter of apology, a foot and a half of parchment to be exact, but he had never received anything back from her. Not even a 'fuck off' which is what he expected.

"You want  _ me _ to sit with you? Are you sure?" he asked her quietly.

She looked at him curiously, her head tilted slightly to the side as though he was a creature she was studying. "Of course I do. I'm sorry I didn't reply to your letter, I spent most of the summer at St Mungo’s with my father as he recuperated. I appreciated the apology though, even though it was hardly necessary," Luna told him as she sat down on one bench, her knees pulled up to her chest.

Draco’s mouth opened in shock. "What do you mean it wasn't necessary? You were kidnapped and held hostage in my home. Of  _ course _ I owed you an apology," he sputtered out.

"You didn't kidnap me. You did nothing to me Draco. You brought us clean water and sandwiches whenever you could. You were just as much a prisoner as I was in that house," Luna told him simply.

Not knowing how to respond, Draco cleared his throat and entered the compartment before turning to look out the window to see the last few students jumping on the train, Potter and Granger nowhere in sight. Just as the train started to move, a knock on their compartment door startled him out of his staring. Looking up to see Neville Longbottom slide the door open, Draco scooted as close to the window as he could.

Longbottom had certainly grown into his looks if the girls walking by and looking him up and down appreciatively were any indication. Draco knew that the boy had sacrificed a lot the year before, taking punishments for younger students, attempting to undermine Snape’s regime, causing as much mayhem as he and his little merry band of misfits could manage. Draco had grown to respect Longbottom, and with Theo, Blaise, and Pansy, they had attempted to help him as much as possible.

Draco nodded his head when Longbottom greeted him, not trusting his voice. Luna began chattering away to them both, not seeming to care that neither of them were paying as much attention to her as she was due.

"Malfoy," Longbottom said suddenly, causing Draco to look at him with wide eyes before he schooled his expression back into his mask he was so used to wearing. "I wanted to thank you again for the letter you sent me over the summer. I know that couldn't have been easy for you, so thanks," he finished lamely, looking just as awkward as Draco felt.

"Think nothing of it. You were owed an apology from me."

Longbottom blew out a breath. "Well, yeah, but you did a lot last year to help us. We probably wouldn't have survived without you and your lot helping as much as you did."

"Well it’s nice to know we're so appreciated, isn't it boys?" a female voice called out from the compartment door that Longbottom hadn't closed all the way. Draco looked up to see Pansy in the doorway, Blaise and Theo crowded behind her. "It was the right thing to do Longbottom. We're not  _ all _ evil Slytherins you know?"

Pansy walked confidently into the compartment, taking a seat next to Luna who smiled at her brightly. To anyone who  _ hadn't _ known Pansy since nappies, she seemed like the same, stuck up, snotty girl from before but Draco knew better. He could see the slight tremor in her hand, the way she kept pressing on her knee to stop it from bouncing, the slight fear in her eyes.

"Hello, Pansy, it's nice to see you again. How was the rest of your summer?" Luna asked the black haired witch.

"Wait, you two saw each other this summer?" Blaise asked, looking between the two girls who looked as different as night and day. Where Luna was all sunshine, happiness, and hints of glitter, Pansy was darkness, sarcasm, and black fingernails. Draco was looking between the two, trying to figure out how they could have possibly had any overlap. Pansy had looked down at her hands while Luna continued to stare dreamily around the compartment.

"I was...struggling this summer and checked myself into St Mungo’s for a bit of respite," Pansy said in a tone that told them all she wouldn't be elaborating.

Draco was stunned at her admission. He had no idea, he had been there as well and wondered if their time had overlapped at all but didn't feel like this was the appropriate time. Thankfully, Luna spoke up, breaking the awkward silence.

"As I told Draco, I spent most of the summer at the hospital visiting my dad. I took part in some of the group mind healing sessions and met up with Pansy," she admitted, patting Pansy on the knee, who looked like she was hoping the bench she was sitting on would come to life and swallow her whole. 

Theo cleared his throat and glanced towards the other boys, eyes wide, motioning for someone to say something. They were saved by a quiet knock on the door just as it slid open.

Hermione Granger stood in the doorway, eyes wide as she took in the odd mixture of people in the compartment, already starting to back away.

"Hermione, I'm so happy to see you, did you want to sit?" Neville asked her. He stood to pull the girl into a hug that she didn't look as though she wanted any part of, if the quick pat on his back was any indication.

"It looks like there’s no room, I'll find somewhere else and see you all at school," she murmured, turning to leave the doorway, shutting it behind her.

A look of hurt briefly flashed across Neville’s face. He turned to Luna who was looking at the now closed door. "Did you talk to her at all this summer?" he asked the blonde.

Luna shook her head and sighed. "I didn't really talk to anyone this summer. I sent her a note asking if she was alright and I never heard back from her."

Pansy looked between the two. "What happened to her?" she asked, not unkindly.

Neville grimaced before sitting back down. "She had a rough time last year. I don't know the details but Harry said...something...happened to her and she hasn't been the same since the final battle." Draco knew that Neville knew more than he let on by the significant look he gave him.

"Harry said that she's been working with Kingsley to try to locate her parents in Australia but there hasn't been any luck so far."

Draco was glad there were others in the compartment because he was dead curious but didn't feel as though he had the right to ask any questions. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when Theo leaned forward and asked Neville more about Granger.

"Why were her parents in Australia? Why can’t she find them? Shouldn't Potter or Weasley be helping her?" Theo asked in rapid fire. Draco rolled his eyes, Theo really should have been a Hufflepuff.

"I know she sent her parents to Australia sometime after our sixth year, I don't know why she can't find him, Harry was pretty tight lipped about that. As for why Harry and Ron aren’t helping well, they've both already started at the Auror Academy and can't get any time off. Also I guess Hermione told Ron she didn't want to date him and he uh—took it badly, so I heard anyway."

Pansy scoffed. "Of course she didn't want to date him. The brightest witch of the age dating the laziest person in our year? Everyone knows he only got so far  _ because _ of Granger. They wouldn't have lasted a week. Good for her I say." She gave Draco a significant look at this, quick enough that no one else would have noticed it.

Draco sighed internally. Pansy was the only person who knew that he had admired Granger for years. She had been his cover when his father wanted to set a contract between him and one of the Greengrass sisters. They both let their parents believe that they were coming to an understanding without getting a contract involved. When Draco had been marked, Pansy had been the one he cried to, hidden behind the curtains of his four poster bed. He cried for his mother, for himself, for the task he had been given that he knew he had no chance of completing. He cried because he knew now that he had that bastard’s mark on his arm,  _ she _ would never look his way, no matter how the war turned out.

Luna changed the subject, asking Blaise and Theo how they spent their summers, obviously trying to get the conversation off of her friend. Draco sat back, listening to Blaise talk about spending the summer by himself in his mother’s villa in Italy while she was off honeymooning with her newest husband in Bora Bora. Theo had spent the summer literally cleaning his house with a team of curse breakers he had hired from Gringotts. The Nott manor had even more dark artifacts and cursed objects than Malfoy Manor had and Theo had been relieved to get rid of them and set his ancestral home to rights.

Draco was pulled out of his musings when Neville said he spent the summer helping rebuild Hogwarts by day and private mind-healing at night. Draco was coming to realise that none of them were okay. They were all fucked up in one way or another. When Neville asked him what he had done that summer, Draco decided he would tell the truth, trusting that even though two of these people had every reason to spread his secrets, a part of him down to his very magic knew they wouldn't do that.

"I spent most of the summer in a secure ward in St Mungo’s. I tried to kill myself."

In the silence that followed, you could have heard a Bowtruckle sneeze. Everyone was looking at him with various looks on their faces. Luna smiled brightly at him like he had made a breakthrough, Pansy looked shocked and hurt, Blaise and Theo both looked ashamed, and Neville had a look of understanding on his face.

"It was a rough summer and one I'd quite like to not revisit if it's all the same to you lot," Draco told them all, standing abruptly. "If you'll excuse me, I need to stretch my legs a bit." He was out the door before anyone could try to stop him.

Not really having anywhere to go, Draco paced the corridor, trying to ignore the people in the compartments, ignoring when he heard his name as he walked past a compartment, the stares, the sneers. Some people just looked through him, acting as though he wasn't there; he preferred that over the few people who outright glared at him and cursed his name under their breath when he walked past.

He had just decided to head back to the compartment, hoping the topic of conversation had changed, when he glanced in a compartment and found Granger sitting by herself, staring off into space. Not knowing what came over him, he knocked on her compartment door. She didn't seem to notice so he knocked a little harder, startling her. She jumped and pointed her wand at the door, breathing heavily. Her cheeks coloured as she stowed her wand back up her sleeve, motioning him in. He slid the door open and then shut right behind him, his back pressed against the door, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

They both stared at each other for a moment, the air in the space seemed heavy with the awkwardness, the tension could have been cut with a knife. She looked away first, taking a deep breath.

"Did you need something, Malfoy? I'm not a prefect so I can't help you with that," she told him, looking down at her hands as she did so.

His eyes widened at her statement. Hermione Granger not a prefect? He expected her to be Head Girl. "Why aren't you a prefect? I assumed you had been made Head Girl," he blurted out, immediately kicking himself.

She started twisting her fingers, staring hard at them. "I wasn't up for the extra responsibility. The Headmistress asked me if I wanted the job but I turned it down. I just want to get through this year as quickly as possible if it’s all the same to you."

Her words were blunt and she said it all without taking her eyes off her hands. Her words had no emotion in them and that hurt Draco in a part of him he hadn't ackowldged in a long time. The part that had wanted her since he was fourteen. She had lost her fire and knowing that he had played a part in that killed him a little bit.

"May I sit?" he asked her before he could think about what he was actually saying. She looked up at him, showing the first sign of life. Her eyes were guarded, mouth twisted into a little frown that he hated he found adorable. She gave a sharp nod before turning her face back down to her hands.

"How was your summer?" Draco immediately regretted his question, knowing the little bit that Longbottom had let slip.

Her shoulders started to shake slightly. Understanding that she would  _ probably _ punch him in the face, again, he stood and sat next to her on the bench, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. The moment his hand touched her, she flinched and her sobs became louder. He pulled out his wand and shot a privacy spell at the door that would keep anyone from hearing, or seeing, into the compartment. Draco continued to pat her shoulder awkwardly and make the same sshing noises he had heard his Aunt Andromeda and Potter make when little Teddy would start to cry.

It wasn't helping. The harder and longer she cried, the more hurt it caused Draco. He wanted to comfort her but didn't know if she would let him. Deciding that it was better to find out than to continue to let her cry, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his chest, his other hand brought up to pat her hair that was laying flat against her head. It was as though all the life and magic had been sucked out of her.

He didn't know how much time had passed as they sat there, her continuing to cry and him trying to comfort her, but her cries slowly started to die down, sniffles and deep breaths taking their place. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he pressed it into her hand. She let out a reluctant laugh when she saw that it was Slytherin green with an M embossed on the corner. He flushed a little, knowing how it looked.

She sat up, his arm still around her shoulder, and dabbed at her eyes. When Granger looked up at him, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"I can't believe I just cried on Draco Malfoy and instead of cursing me and immediately running off to wipe off the Mudblood filth, you handed me a hankie." Her giggle came out a little hysterically at the end.

He blanched that she still assumed he thought she was filth. He never really had. Sure in first and second year when he wanted to be just like his father but not after third year. Especially not after fourth year. Her magic radiated around her. She was the most magical person he had ever known. He knew that having to keep up the pretense of the perfect pureblood heir for his father was important for not only his safety but his mothers as well, would be harmful but he wished he had been able to tell her before—tell her that he thought she was beautiful, and more magical than his father could ever hope to be.

"You're not filth, and don't call yourself that name. I don't think that and haven't for a long time," he told her, pulling his arm from around her shoulders and standing up. Removing the privacy spell, he pushed the door open, smiled at her slightly and left.

On his way back to his friends, Draco ran into Luna and Pansy. Directing them towards Granger and ignoring their questions about how he knew where she was, he returned to the compartment. Turning down the offer to join in their game of Exploding Snap, Draco leaned his head against the window, staring at the rolling countryside.

He couldn't get the look in her eyes out of his head. He knew that look. He was intimately familiar with the feelings that look were caused by. Draco knew he needed to make sure she was looked after, he just wasn't sure if he should be the one to do it or to even bring it up to the people who knew her best. He would have to explain more how he  _ knew _ what could happen if someone didn't help her.

* * *

The rest of the train ride passed uneventfully. Ginny Weasley had stopped by the compartment, looking for Luna or Hermione. After they had sent her down the train to find them, no one else came by to chat. Plenty of people stopped to look and gossip at three Slytherins, one a known Death Eater, playing games and swapping snacks with the hero of Gryffindor, the snake slayer himself. Draco even laughed when Blaise actually called Longbottom that and the boy blushed so hard, he looked like he might explode.

The Welcoming Feast was a somber affair. There were only a handful from Draco’s year to return, but the first year class was massive. All of the students who  _ should _ have started the previous year were starting this year. McGonagall had welcomed them all back and asked the eighth year students to stay at the end of the feast. 

The sorting took almost an hour as there were sixty five first years. The first time one had been sorted into Slytherin, the entire hall fell silent. Surprisingly, Ginny Weasley was the one to start the cheers and applause. From then on, every firstie sorted into his house was met with cheers just as loud as any other house. Draco shared a grin with Theo when they caught Pansy wiping a tear away.

After the feast ended, Draco along with Theo, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne Greengrass, Longbottom, Granger, Dean Thomas, Ernie McMillan, and Susan Bones all gathered at the Head table to await instructions on where they would be sleeping. Everyone had gathered together by house out of habit. No one seemed to be giving him or his housemates any dirty looks but no one was attempting to talk to them either.

When the Headmistress made her way over to them, she looked them all over with her sharp eye and sighed. "Welcome back to Hogwarts. I'm so happy to see each and every one of you." She looked them all over and gave them all a rare smile.

"Now, as you know this is an unprecedented year for you all. You will have your own dormitory, your own rooms and you will be able to attend Hogsmeade at any time as long as it doesn’t interfere with your classes.” She levelled them all with a stern look.

"Bullying will not be tolerated any longer. The point system has been overhauled and streamlined. I expect you all to show a unified front in front of the younger students. All of you have been through horrors this past year and know better than anyone else that we need unity in this time of rebuilding our world."

With that, she beckoned for them all to follow her. The eighth year dorm was located in a previously unused turret on the eastern side of the castle. The door had a portrait of all four founders. Once they were all gathered around the portrait, McGonagall informed them the password was 'Unity'. 

Upon entering the tower, they were treated to a large window that overlooked the Quidditch pitch. The room was cozy with several armchairs scattered throughout, along with three sofas gathered around the large stone fireplace. There were two work tables near the window for homework. Two spiral staircases on either side of the common room led to their rooms.

"Girls will be to the left and boys to the right. You each have your own room that has your name on the doors. I'll pass out your schedules to you in the morning after breakfast." she informed them all. "Due to the small number of you that have returned, you will share some classes with the current seventh years."

After bidding them all a goodnight, the Headmistress left them to explore the tower. Draco noticed that Hermione spoke quietly to Longbottom before she headed up the staircase to her room. A nudge to his side pulled him away as he watched her walk up the staircase, out of his sight.

Pansy was giving him a shrewd look. "You're being so obvious, you were clearly mis-sorted," she said with a smirk.

Draco glared at her before turning with a huff and heading up the staircase to the boys rooms. His was located between Theo and Longbottom with Blaise on the other side of Theo. The room was tastefully decorated in neutral colors of beige and grey. A full size four poster bed took up most of the space but there was a small desk that was facing a window and a wardrobe next to the door. His trunk was already at the foot of his bed so Draco pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and went in search of the bathroom.

Entering the bathroom, Draco found Dean Thomas and Ernie McMillan brushing their teeth. The pompous Hufflepuff gave him a curt nod before gathering his things and retreating. Dean sat his toiletry kit down after putting his toothbrush away and faced Draco.

"I just wanted you to know that I have no hard feelings towards you about being taken to your home when I was captured. You've always been a bit of a prick but you wouldn't torture people. I appreciate the letter you sent and I know I told you all this in my response but I wanted to make sure you knew that I'd like this year to go smoothly and I hope we can become friends," the dark-skinned boy told him very matter of factly.

Draco was a bit stunned but held his hand out towards the boy who took it immediatly to shake. Blaise, Theo, and Longbottom walked in at that moment.

"Making friends are we?" Blaise said with a laugh.

Theo thumped him in the back of the head before walking over to Dean and offering his hand as well. "Theo Nott, I don't believe we've ever been properly introduced."

"Dean Thomas. I was just telling Draco here that I wanted this to be a normal year, hopefully we can all be friends?" Dean told Theo as he shook his hand and Blaises.

"Sounds good to me," Blaise said. "Should be an interesting year, hopefully a quiet one."

Longbottom laughed. "Well with Harry not here we have a pretty good chance of that."

They all laughed before Dean bid them all a good night. After brushing his teeth, Draco headed back to his room, casting a privacy charm and a silencing spell on his door before laying on the soft bed and attempting sleep.

Three hours later, he was still wide awake, tossing and turning. The worry that tomorrow would be filled with dirty looks and slurs. He was worried for his mother, all alone in the Manor. He decided to send his Aunt a letter the next day, asking her to look in on his mother as often as she was able. After laying in bed for another thirty minutes, Draco got out of bed and headed down to the common room to see if he could sneak out to get some hot chocolate from the kitchens.

Padding down the stairs quietly, he stopped short at the bottom when he saw someone else sitting on a sofa starting at the dying embers of the fire. Even though he couldn't see her properly, a part of him just knew it was Granger. Not wanting to startle her, he cleared his throat quietly. Her head whipped around, wand gripped tightly in her hand. Seeing her shoulders relax slightly, he stepped off the stairs and headed towards her.

"I didn't know anyone else would be down here, I didn't mean to disturb you," he said quietly, standing a good distance away from her, his hands gripping the back of an overstuffed armchair tightly. "I couldn't sleep and was going to see if I could get some hot chocolate. Would you like some?" he asked her.

Granger stared at him for a moment. "I have a hard time sleeping. When I am able to, I have nightmares that I struggle to wake from. You'll probably find me down here a lot."

Draco looked down at his hands, his knuckles turning white from how hard he was squeezing the chair. He wanted to go to her but knew that the experience on the train was a one-off and she likely wouldn’t appreciate him invading her space again.

"Have you tried any Dreamless Sleep? I've taken it on occasion when the...when it's just too much." he watched as she shook her head.

"They're addicting and I don't trust myself at the moment to not abuse it," Hermione explained in a voice barely above a whisper.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to help her and she obviously desperately needed it. He wanted to know if she had seen a mind healer over the summer but didn't want to pry. They weren't friends, not even close. Before he could formulate a response, she was looking at him.

"I would appreciate some hot chocolate if you can get some. I'm not really up for any nighttime wanderings if it's all the same to you."

Draco smiled at her. "I'll bring some even if I have to Apparate to London to get it."

She looked like she wanted to smile, but it came out a grimace. "That's not necessary but thank you." She turned back to the fire, staring at it with a blank look on her face.

Stepping out of the portrait, Draco took a moment to orient himself with his surroundings, lighting the end of his wand with a whispered  _ Lumos _ and setting off in the direction he was pretty sure led to the kitchens. As he walked through the quiet halls, he thought about Granger. Maybe he should send a letter to Potter, letting him know how she was acting. Surely he would care. Again though, it wasn't really his place to get in her business and he was sure she wouldn't thank him for talking about her to people. Deciding to bring up her behavior to Longbottom as soon as he could without her around, he tried to think of ways to help her sleep that didn't include potions.

Arriving at the kitchens, the few elves that were still awake were more than happy to give him two large steaming mugs of hot chocolate to take with him, assuring him that the mugs would keep them warm until he made his way back to his dorm. The walk back was quicker and before he knew it, Draco was at the portrait, whispering the password. When the door shut behind him, he turned towards the sofa to find Granger asleep on the sofa, a pillow clutched to her chest.

He sat the mug on the side table next to the sofa, grabbed a blanket from the back of a chair and laid it over her. He stared down at her for a moment before heading back to his dorm.

* * *

The next morning, Draco dressed quickly and headed down to the common room. The sofa was empty but the mug was gone. He sat on the sofa to wait for others to join him. Within ten minutes he was joined by Pansy, Theo, and Susan Bones. The four of them talked quietly about what classes they would all be taking, speculated what houses they would share classes with and discussed if they would be allowed to join the house teams for Quidditch, as Susan had been a beater for Hufflepuff. They were joined shortly by the rest of the eighth years, including Granger, and headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Upon entering the hall, they noticed a smaller table towards the front of the room near where the professors sat. The Headmistress motioned them all forward.

"I forgot to inform you last night that you would all have your own table but you are, of course, still allowed to sit at your own house table as well. You're encouraged to sit at other house tables from your own to help create unity. The only time you will be required to sit with your house is the closing feast."

Susan asked her if they would be allowed to join their house Quidditch teams and was immediately put out when she was told that no, they would not be able to.

"Could we form some sort of rec league? Anyone could play? I would hate to go the entire year without playing a game," Susan told her.

McGonagall looked thoughtful at that. "I think that should be fine, I'll leave it in your hands to organize it, just please let myself and Madam Hooch know when you'd like to begin. The Quidditch schedule should be released after all the houses have try-outs so you'll want to coordinate with them as well."

After Susan and Draco had spoken with McGonagall for a few more minutes, they joined their classmates who had wandered over to their table during the Quidditch talk. Draco took the open seat next to Ernie who gave him another nod as he had the night before.

"Good morning, Malfoy. How was your summer?" Ernie asked him politely.

Draco glanced up at him for a moment. "As well as can be expected I suppose. How was yours?"

"Oh just fine. My family and I went on holiday for most of it before returning home. My father opened his own soliciting firm and expects me to join him after I obtain my mastery after Hogwarts."

_ Still a braggart. _ "That's an interesting field, have you started looking into who will help you gain a mastery?" Draco asked him, even though he really didn't care.

Ernie began to prattle on about this solicitor and that master, Draco tuned him out but made the appropriate noises as the boy continued to talk.

"What about you, any plans for a job after school? I imagine it'll be difficult for you to get a job." Ernie said a bit snidely.

Draco flushed red. Before he could say anything, Blaise jumped to his defense. "Malfoy Holdings is still a large presence not only in the magical world but the Muggle world, as you well know, McMillan." 

Ernie looked around to see everyone but Draco glaring at him and even Granger looked put out for him.

"I apologise, that wasn't well done by me."

The awkwardness that surrounded their table was suffocating as they all ate quietly, no one wanting to be the one to break the silence. When the food had been cleared, they waited as the professors made their way around the room, handing out schedules. When McGonagall made her way to their table, she handed out their schedules, and let them know that classes would be starting in thirty minutes. Everyone passed around their schedules so they could see who they had classes with.

Draco found that he shared all the same classes with Theo, Susan, Daphne, and Granger. He was pleased to see he only had Transfiguration, Charms, and Arthmancy with that prat, McMillan. Grabbing his bag, he stood to wait for his friends to ready themselves for classes. Ginny Weasley and Luna made their way over towards them, as they would have their first class of the day with Gryffindors and Ravenclaws for Ancient Runes.

"Morning. Merlin, Hermione, did you get any sleep at all?" Ginny asked, placing her hand on Grangers cheek, the older girl jerking her head away, as Ginny's eyes widened.

"I'm fine, Gin. I don't need you fussing with me," Hermione snapped said, grabbing her bag and stalking off.

Ginny sighed and shared a look with Luna and Neville. "I'm worried about her. She won't let any of us help her and I don't know what to do," she said a little helplessly.

They all followed Hermione out the door, saying goodbye to Pansy and Neville as the two headed off to Care of Magical Creatures with the rest of the eighth years. Daphne was walking between Ginny and Luna, all three talking in undertones, most likely about Hermione. Theo nudged his shoulder and slowed his pace slightly.

"Let the girls handle it mate, if she wants help she's more likely to go to one of them than us."

Draco scoffed at that. "Her two best friends were boys, she'd probably be comfortable talking to one of us."

Theo gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Draco was thinking. "But not us, not yet. You made her life hell for years, Draco. Let the girls handle it."

Speeding his walk to catch up with the girls, Draco thought about what Theo had said. He wanted to help her, he  _ needed _ to help her, to apologise, to atone for his actions. He wouldn't be pushy, but Draco would help her if it was the last thing he did.

The first day of classes went well, if a bit awkwardly. It was difficult for most of them to be back in the place that was an absolute horror for them just a few months ago, where a lot of them had seen loved ones die, where they had been tortured. 

He paid attention to Granger in every class. She didn't once raise her hand to ask a question. She still took notes but he often caught her staring off into space during lectures. Everyone else noticed as well. After Transfiguration, McGonagall, who was still teaching the class on top of her Head duties, asked her to stay behind. When Hermione caught up to them, she was in a huff, muttering under her breath. After the last class of the day, she disappeared into the library even though they had no homework due for two weeks. 

Daphne and Pansy invited Luna and Ginny to the dorm and the four along with Susan disappeared into their rooms as soon dinner ended.

Granger hadn't made an appearance at dinner and the closer it got to curfew, the more worried Draco got. Just as he had resolved to go find her and make her eat something, the girls descended down the stairs, and an old piece of parchment in Ginny's hand. They laid it down on the coffee table and asked Neville to help them look for Hermione.

"What is that?" Theo asked curiously.

Ginny didn't even look up. "The Marauders map. Harry's dad and his friends created it when they were students. It shows everyone in the castle and where they are. We're looking for Hermione, she's not in the library."

Draco leaned over to help search when Pansy poked a finger at the Astronomy Tower. Draco felt his blood run cold as he looked at the tiny dot labeled 'Hermione Granger' that seemed to be pacing around. Before anyone could stop him, Draco was up and running out the portrait hole. The journey to the tower seemed to take forever. He was running as fast as he could, running on pure adrenaline, trying to get to her before she could do something.

He burst through the door at the bottom of the stairs, running up them two at a time. As he threw the door open, Hermione whipped around from where she was standing at the railings, her wand pointed right at his chest.

"Step back from there, please, Granger," he said, his voice shaking. "Please just come over here."

She was staring at him as though she had never seen him before.

"Hermione...please." Draco’s voice was pleading, he hated being up here and he wanted to run away but not until he had her safely away from the edge. He was brought up short when she burst out laughing.

"Do you think I'm going to jump?" she asked him in between giggles. 

Draco cautiously walked toward her. "Well, you're obviously depressed and you're up here in the highest tower by yourself standing a little too close to the edge for my liking," he told her. He was close enough that he could grab her if he needed to.

Her laughter was dying out. "I'm not going to jump, I just needed to clear my head." 

She looked over his shoulder as Theo, Blaise, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Pansy, and Daphne burst into the room. Hermione's eyes widened as she took them all in until she saw the parchment in Ginny's hands. Her eyes darkened.

"You used the map? Were you spying on me?" Everyone looked down except for Ginny who had a fierce look in her eyes that told Draco she wasn't one to cross.

"Yes, I was spying on you. You didn't show up to dinner, you weren't in the library like you said you were going to be. You're not okay, Hermione." Ginny's voice was getting steadily louder. "You've not been yourself all summer and we're worried about you. Harry and Ron are worried about you. My mum said she sent you a letter every day of the summer and you never responded. No one knew where you were!"

Hermione was shaking, her fists were clenched at her side, magic crackling around her in a way Draco hadn't seen in a long time. Her voice was quiet when she started speaking.

"No, Ginny, I am not okay. I haven't been okay for some time. I didn't want to be around anyone this summer. I appreciate your mother's concern and I'll write to her and apologise. But you don't get to spy on me. You have no idea what I went through last year," Hermione told her.

Ginny was shaking with her attempt to control her emotions. "I don't know what you went through because you won't  _ talk _ to anyone. Harry said he only saw you twice this summer, Ron only once. No one could find you. You don't have to suffer alone, Hermione. We all love you."

Tears were falling down Hermione's face fast, her breath was coming out in short bursts. It was a shock to everyone when Pansy of all people, pushed passed Longbottom and pulled Hermione into an embrace. Pansy was speaking quietly to her, rubbing her back in a soothing way while they all looked on helplessly.

"Why don't you all head back down and go get Hermione some food. We'll be back to the dorm in a bit," Pansy spoke, giving them all with a look that said she would broker no arguments.

As they all headed down, Neville put an arm around Ginny who was crying silently.

"We just have to let her come to us when she's ready," Neville said.

Ginny sniffed. "But she'll talk to Pansy Parkinson? The girl who treated her worse than dirt?"

Neville looked around at them all helplessly. Daphne cleared her throat and grabbed Ginny's hand gently.

"Maybe it's easier for her to talk to someone she's not close to, someone who doesn't care for her like you do."

The group split off at the main staircase, Ginny, Daphne, and Luna heading down to the kitchens to get some food while the rest of them headed back to the dorm. Neville threw himself down on the sofa when they entered, covering his face with his hands.

"This is shit. Everything is just shit. I know Harry and Ron would want to know but she'll kill me if I tell them," he said, his words muffled beneath his hands.

Blaise sat down next to the tall Gryffindor and patted his knee. "Let's just wait and see how she is when she gets back to the dorm with Pans. I know you lot never had a good experience with her, but if someone’s upset and struggling, Pansy is the one you would want to help them. She just has a way about her. Her entire persona at Hogwarts was an act to protect herself. She didn't have the easy life most think she did."

Neville glanced over at Blaise. "She's definitely different. Well, she was different last year as well."

The three Slytherins gave him a curious look. "When were you around Pansy enough to know how she is?" Theo asked, a curious expression on his face.

"She helped me get medical supplies and stuff last year." He blushed. "We would meet up twice a week when we were able to, to pass along information and supplies. You lot helped as well, I assumed she told you."

Draco shot a look at Blaise who looked like he wanted to press Neville for more information. "We did what we could, wasn't as much as you, but we tried to help all that we could," Draco told him.

The girls returned at that moment, a basket on Luna's arm, a pitcher of pumpkin juice in Daphne's hand. They sat everything on the table just as Pansy and Hermione walked through the door. Everyone looked up at them both, Hermione's cheeks flushing at the attention.

"I'm so sorry I scared you. It wasn't my intention. I just can't breathe sometimes. I feel like I'm being suffocated by everything that happened last year and I just needed to escape for a moment." She walked to Ginny and pulled her up and into a tight hug. "I know you're worried. I'll try to do better," she told them all with a small smile as she released Ginny and sat on the floor to eat.

No one said anything for a few minutes until Blaise broke the silence. "So, who's up for a game of strip poker?"

* * *

The weeks following the Astronomy Tower incident were some of the best Draco had ever had at Hogwarts. He wasn't being spied on, he was able to be himself. He and Susan had organized a rec Quidditch league and had a few practices. There was enough interest that they were able to form four teams so they could play actual games. Hermione had started to open up more. She had enlisted a mind healer that she met with twice a week in Hogsmeade, had seen her two best friends for a tear filled lunch that she had told them all about after. Apparently Ron Weasely was a blubbering mess.

The biggest thing though, was that she had started spending a lot of time with him. Draco was thrilled at the change in their relationship. They ate lunch and dinner sitting next to each other, studied in the library and then late into the night in the common room where they would push their homework to the side and sit on opposite sides of the sofa, just talking, their legs occasionally brushing up against each other.

She told him about starving the year before, the bone deep cold that still didn't seem to leave her. She told him about Weasley leaving them and then coming back. She confided in him that the reason she would never be able to have a relationship with him was that she didn't trust him not to leave when things got hard. When she told him about placing the memory charm on her parents and sending them to Australia, he pulled her in his arms and held her as she cried.

In return, Draco told her about the horrors of having that monster living in his house, the depression he had spiraled into over the summer, the mind healing he had received and was still receiving in Hogsmeade like she was. Telling her about his suicide attempt over the summer had reduced them both to tears.

He didn't know when she had started to return the feelings he had for her. Even though she didn't say as much, he knew she did. When she would brush his hair out of his eyes, her hand lingered on his cheek. He would put his hand on the small of her back when they walked, throw an arm around her when they sat with their friends in the evenings, just talking. When he finally apologised to her, the look on her face told him everything he needed to know.

"You don't need to apologise to me, Draco. You've done it everyday since we've been back at school. You show me you've changed everytime you touch me."

Before he could think about what stupid idea it was, before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her and kissed her. She melted against him and he saw stars behind his closed eyes.

Kissing Hermione Granger was everything Draco had imagined and never dreamed of hoping for.

When she pulled back slightly to catch her breath, he rested his forehead against hers and smiled.

"I hope that wasn't out of line," he said with a laugh.

She let out a breathy laugh. "I was starting to think I was going to have to do it first, honestly."

* * *

The days leading up to Yule break were filled with sneaking kisses between classes, cuddling up in front of the fire, dealing with the gentle teasing of their friends and once, pulling Hermione into a broom closet on their way back from a walk around the lake. Draco had never been so happy in his life and a small part of him, the part that still thought he was worthless, kept telling him to wait for the other shoe to drop.

He sat in the common room the night before they would all be heading home for break—or in Hermione's case,home with Ginny—with her head in his lap and her hair spread out behind her as Daphne braided it, and he realised he never felt so relaxed.

"Where's Longbottom and Pansy?" Blaised asked, looking around the room.

Ginny giggled from her spot behind Susan where she was colour charming her hair. "I don't think I want to know."

Theo groaned. "Why can't they just come out and say that they're together and probably have been since last year? We all know they were sneaking off to meet up last year, probably more than twice a week like they claim."

"Leave them be. When they're ready to tell, they will," Hermione said quietly. "They both had difficult childhoods and were basically in hell last year. Let them have this bit of privacy."

Theo and Draco both grumbled a bit but agreed when Hermione pinched his thigh and made pinchy fingers at Theo who held up his hands in surrender.

The next morning, everyone's trunks were packed, each of them feeling a bit sad to be separated for the next few weeks. Blaise and Theo would be returning with him to the Manor, his mother not wanting either boy that she thought of as her own alone during the holiday, Pansy was going to be spending the break with Daphne and her younger sister Astoria and Draco privately thought with Neville as well. Susan was spending the break with some distant relatives in France.

Taking the train all the way back to London was a bit annoying as they could all Apparate but the rules stated they had to. Saying goodbye to Hermione on the platform was agonising for Draco. They had gotten so close and had both healed so much, not because of the relationship they had started, but because they all had each other to lean on. He worried that the progress she had made of the last few months would disappear over the break. Glad she had Ginny, Potter, and Weasley, he gave her one last kiss, hugged Ginny, shook hands with Potter, and traded nods with Weaselbee.

* * *

Christmas Eve found Draco, Blaise, and Theo sitting around the large tree his mother had decorated, a fire roaring in the back, each nursing a glass of firewhisky. Draco was excited to see Hermione the next day as she was going to meet them at Potter’s house in London for Christmas dinner with him, Blaise, Theo, his mother, Aunt Andromeda, Teddy, Potter, and Ginny.

As he sat laughing at the story Theo was telling them all about his attempts to woo Susan, a stag Patronus burst into the room, startling them all when Potter's voice came out of it.

_ Malfoy, you need to get to St Mungos now. It's Hermione. _

Draco didn't even hesitate before he turned on the spot, Apparating through the wards of his house directly to St Mungos. As soon as he popped into view, a small redhead had him pulled into a tight hug, her sobs evident.

"Ginny what's happened? Where is Hermione?" he asked, his voice shaking, and raising with fear.

She was sobbing so hard no words were coming out. Draco looked around until he spotted Potter and Weasley rushing towards him, a hoard of redheads behind them, tears on all of their faces. He vaguely acknowledged three pops behind him as Blaise, Theo, and his mother walked quickly toward them.

Potter opened his mouth to speak and then snapped it shut before gasping for breath, doubling over. Narcissa rushed forward just as Molly Weasley did the same. Both witches shared a grim smile as they both began to rub his back and talk quietly.

A tall Weasley that Draco vaguely recognized as the oldest, the one who was a curse breaker for Gringotts, approached them and cleared his throat.

"I'm sure Hermione’s told you all by now but she sent her parents to Australia before the war really started. She's been working with Kingsley and the Australian ministry to find them." He cleared his throat roughly and looked down. “The Australian ministry found her parents and were able to reverse the memory charm she put on them. My dad and brother Percy, went to Australia to retrieve them so we could surprise her with them."

His voice broke and he looked towards his father who had approached the group. "When we arrived, we were taken to the Minister’s office. Her parents had been in a car wreck on their way to the meeting point. They didn't make it."

Narcissa gasped, her hand covering her mouth.

Arthur Weasley squeezed his wife's hand who had come to stand next to him, tears falling freely down her face, Potter standing next to Ginny who had let go of Draco.

"When we returned home this morning, I asked Hermione if I could talk to her, with Harry and Ron there for support. When I told her about her parents, she was understandably distraught. She cried for a few hours before saying she wanted to take a bath." His voice trailed off and Draco started to hyperventilate, someone's hand was on his shoulder, another on his back.

"She had been in the loo for quite some time, so we sent Ginny up to check on her. Ginny screamed for Molly and when we got up there, Hermione was unconscious in the tub."

The man was still speaking but Draco didn't hear a word he was saying. His vision was going blurry, his breath becoming shallow and harder to get out, a pain in his chest felt as though it was going to burst. He looked up into Potter's eyes and then all he saw was black.

When he came to, he was in a bed, his mum, Blaise, Theo, Pansy, and Daphne around him. He tried to sit up and couldn't.

"Don't fight it. You're fine, they just have you restrained," his mother's soothing voice told him.

He groaned and sat back. "Why am I restrained?" he asked, looking over at his friends, all of whom looked to be in various states of grief. "What happened?"

Blaise cleared his throat. "When Mr Weasley told you what happened to Hermione, you sort of lost it. It took four of us to stun you, mate. That's with a fully certified curse-breaker involved. When you came to, you went catatonic and wouldn't respond to anyone. You're in the same ward as Hermione but a different room."

Draco closed his eyes. It was all coming back to him. His Hermione, his beautiful witch had tried to take her own life. He hadn't realised until that moment just how important she had become to him. "When can I see her?"

Pansy let out a breath. "We've all been taking turns visiting with her. She's...she's not conscious yet, Draco. They haven't been able to wake her up. They’re running tests because they aren't sure what she took that wouldn't be reversed by a bezoar."

Draco began to shake. "I should have been there, I could have stopped this, I could have saved her." His words were coming out in a frenzy, he was trying to get off the bed, but the harder he struggled, the tighter they became. He knew his mother was crying but he didn't care. All he cared about was that he had failed the love of his life and she was dying somewhere near him and didn't even know he loved her.

"Draco, stop it. You're going to hurt yourself, stop it." A small, cool hand had started to smooth his hair down. He tried to shake it off but it wouldn't stop. "You need to listen to me," the voice told him. He looked over and saw that it was Pansy. She was looking into his eyes, a softness to them that he hadn't seen in years.

"You couldn't have stopped her, Draco. You are responsible for no one but yourself. Yes, you could have been there to comfort her but you couldn't have saved her." He started to protest and Pansy grabbed his chin until he was looking directly into her eyes. "It is  _ not _ your job to save anyone. You can't help someone who is not able to help themselves. We all knew she needed more help and none of us said anything. We all thought she was doing better," Pansy told him firmly.

He knew she was right but couldn't help the feeling that he should have saved her.

"Can I see her? Please? I promise I'll be calm," he asked, not even bothering to hide the pleading in his voice.

After his mother discussed it with his healer, he was allowed out of the bed and directed towards Hermione's room. Several Weasleys and Potter were sitting outside the room, Ginny was asleep on Potter’s shoulder.

"Is it alright if I go in?" Draco asked, knowing these were the only family she had left and he would never do anything to mess that up.

The prattish one, Percy, Draco remembered, knocked on the door before opening it. "Draco wants to come in," he called out. Mr and Mrs Weasley walked out with Neville, Luna, and Susan. Mrs Weasley pulled him into a rib cracking hug before patting his cheek andMr Weasley clapped him on the back. He gave nods to his friends before he walked in the door, Pansy the only one to follow him.

He felt his breath leave him as he took in Hermione’s prone form lying in bed. She looked so pale and her hair was back to being as lifeless as it had been on the train to Hogwarts. He took the chair on one side of her bed and grabbed her hand. It felt cold and he hated it. Pulling it up to his lips, he placed a gentle kiss on the palm. Clutching her hand, he didn't hold back the sobs that came, knowing Pansy was there and that she wouldn't judge him for it.

"I love you, Hermione. This isn't the way I wanted to tell you but I can't stand for you to not know. I need you to come back to us and get better," he whispered to her.

Pansy was on the other side of the bed, holding Hermione's hand and crying quietly.

"You know you can't help her, Draco. She'll need to do it herself."

"I know, Pans. But I can be there for her. I know how this works. I did it over the summer," he told her quietly. "I'll be here as much as I can but I know she needs more help than I can give her."

* * *

It was later Christmas day that the healers were finally able to figure out what Hermione had taken. Apparently three bottles of Dreamless Sleep and an entire bottle of Muggle sleeping pills had been what put her in her current state. They were able to revive her, though no one was allowed in the room while the Healers were working on her.

An hour after they went in, they came out, their faces giving away nothing.

"Miss Granger will be fine. She will suffer no long term side effects from mixing the Muggle and magical medicine." Everyone sighed in relief. "It is my recommendation, and she agrees with me, that she should spend some time here in the Psych ward. At this time we aren't giving a time frame for how long she will need to spend here," the healer, whose name Draco had already forgotten, told them.

"Can we see her?" Mrs Weasley asked, tearfully.

"One at a time please, so as to not overwhelm her. She asked that Mr Malfoy wait until last because after this, she's requested no visitors during her time here."

Everyone looked shocked but nodded their agreement. Draco stood staring at the door to Hermione's room as everyone went in and out, usually coming out in tears. He hadn't cried again; he felt as though he was made of stone. Finally, Potter left the room, gave Draco a nod and went out to the waiting room.

Four deep breaths, Draco knocked on the door before he walked in. She was sitting up in bed, pale, with tears in her eyes. She smiled at him slightly, and he rushed forward, grabbing her hand.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there, love," he cried, pulling her hand up to kiss again.

"You couldn't have done anything for me, Draco. Muggles have a saying that sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before they can heal. Maybe this needed to happen. I'm going to be okay, eventually. I just don't know how long it will take and I think it's best that I stay here until I'm better."

Draco nodded as she talked, his hand cupping her cheek, pleased when she leaned into and closed her eyes.

"I love you, Hermione and I'll love you when you're better. I was so scared when I got Potter's Patronus. I didn't realise how much you meant to me. I mean I knew, but it's like you were my gravity and when I heard, it was like you went away and I thought I would never be the same."

Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he told her. He needed her to know before he left just how much she meant to him.

"I love you too, Draco. I think we both have a lot of healing to do before we can be happy together. But I love you. Just be patient with me."

"Anything for you."

* * *

_ Three Months Later _

Draco couldn't stop fidgeting with the suit he was wearing. Why he had let Blaise and Theo talk him into wearing a suit was beyond him. He was standing next to Theo who had his arm around Susan. She had finally agreed to go on a date with him just a few weeks before. Blaise was on his other side, chatting animatedly with Bill and Fleur Weasley about curse breaking. He had applied to Gringotts and, pending his NEWTs, he would start in the fall.

Pansy and Neville were sitting on a bench next to Mr and Mrs Weasley, talking about Pansy’s plans to get her mastery in Mind Healing while Neville looked on proudly.

Potter, Weasley, and Ginny were talking with his mother about Ginny being scouted by several professional Quidditch teams already.

He was nervous and he felt like it was radiating from her. A hand gently cupped his elbow, he looked to find Luna smiling at him. "She's fine, you have nothing to be nervous about."

Draco took a deep breath and nodded at Luna just as the door to the secure ward opened. Hermione walked out and smiled brightly when she was them all there. Everyone started trying to chat with her all at once but she only had eyes for Draco. She gently pulled a crying Percy off her and walked towards him, everyone moving out of the way.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hi yourself," he said with a laugh.

"Still love me?"

"Couldn't stop even if I tried," Draco told her, pulling her towards him and kissing her soundly, ignoring the laughs and catcalls from their friends and family surrounding him.

"Are you sure you're ready to come back?" He asked her when she pulled back. "If you need more time, everyone will understand."

She patted his cheek. "I'm ready to try. I know I have a support system now. I'm not fully back to myself but I'm ready to try."


End file.
